Shouldn't Jewelry Be Designed For Men?

No no, hear me out.
     Some women (not all) wear jewelry in order to make themselves more attractive. In other words, attract men. You can certainly agree that this is true in the majority of cases.

But instead of pretty shiny color beads and rings and earrings and necklaces and whatever else, I think they would serve a... better? purpose if they were designed by men. You see, if a woman wore a necklace with little cars on it, I think a guy who likes cars (like me) would be more attracted to that woman for several reasons: this woman has good taste, and I already know I can talk to her about something we're both interested in. It's a conversation starter. It connects common interests.

Don't you see my logic? It makes sense.

A necklace with flowers isn't going to attract as much attention, unless it's a -really- cool necklace.

I completely haven't addressed the real reason why women wear jewelry in the first place. Other than to look pretty, right? Is there more to it? I don't know, I'm a guy. Where a woman would accessorize her earlobes with sparkly stones, I'd rather accessorize my car with a turbo or rims. It's worth the same amount of money...
     Unless jewelry makes a woman go faster, I find a turbo to be more useful. Giggles. Have a good rest of the day, kind reader.

Hot, Loud Day With A Quiet, Cool Experience

Meeting new people has never been my strong point. Unless I'm forced into a group, I stray from conversation and eye contract—especially those who I find attractive.
     Recently I went to visit some people, mainly to witness an event I had never once encountered. The people's cause was called Walk For ASL, and their goal is to raise awareness of Deafness and signing. They are spending the month of May walking down the California coast.
     On Tuesday, May 28, one of the stops they made was at Leo Carrillo State Beach and set up camp for the night. It's nearby, if not in, the city of Malibu. I drove there in my Mazda Miata, a sporty convertible, and intentionally took a detour through the Santa Monica Mountains because of the windy roads. Beautiful day, beautiful drive. I wouldn't have made the drive and would have instead waited for the team to arrive in Santa Monica, where their walk ended, if I hadn't heard about those roads. I mention this only because I'm a car guy and I appreciate a good road when I find one and would like to let others know.
     When I got to the campsite, I didn't know what to do. I parked a little bit away as to not disturb them—which is silly, because they couldn't hear me arrive. And yet, I continued being quiet and cautious. That's just who I am. I keep my distance and don't like to disturb people. On top of the shyness, there was also a language barrier. So for me, I felt stuck.
     They had three sites reserved for their big group of people, and the sites were spread out. I got out my iPad and typed a greeting and my purpose there, then gave it to one of two women who were setting up things. Written words overcame the language barrier very easily. The woman very kindly and gladly ushered me over to another group of people sitting around a campfire. It was the afternoon and nice weather, but they had a fire going. Okay, sure, that's cool, I guess. Except that I ended up sitting downwind from the fire. Not cool, hot.
     I was introduced to the event coordinator. I showed her my iPad with my typed introduction, and from there, we engaged in a quite meaningful, life-inspiring (but slow) conversation.

     Me: Hi, my name is Kevan, and I'm doing a report for school on Walk For ASL. I can't sign but I would like to learn about your cause. Would you mind typing on here?
     Alison: Welcome! I'm Alison Aubrecht- the walk facilitator. Would be happy to answer any questions you have- go ahead and type them and I'm going to run and grab a copy of our press kit for you.
     M: Thank you! Alright, how does walking the California coast promote ASL?
     A: California, specifically, isn't so much the point—other than the weather here is predictable enough for us to travel 30 days in the outdoors. That aside, walking has given us the opportunity to bring attention to American Sign Language. We give out postcards along the way and have had some media coverage. Plus we have met a lot of folks and have conversed a bit with them.
     M: I'm glad you're doing this! I am in a Deaf Culture class. I went in without prior knowledge, but the class has opened my eyes to these people. I've learned that they are no different than hearing people, and I want to help spread the awareness too.
What brought these people together and commit to making this month-long trip?
     A: Great! What school do you attend?
People signed up for various reasons—most out of a passion to see more attention given to ASL. Some just wanted the physical challenge. Our organization (Facundo Element) wanted to do this in part because we are trying to get our community more familiar with activism, and we felt a good starting point would be to do celebratory activism.
     M: I attend El Camino College, which is in Torrance. It's south of Santa Monica, about 30 minutes away (but with traffic, who knows!). They have a very good ASL division, which I will be enrolled in next semester. I am actually a film major, so making videos and storytelling is also part of who I am.
What sort of change or action do you want to see happen? What does this Walk achieve in the eyes of the public?
     A: I think the first change we need to see is a sense of self-actualization within our community- there is a lot of internalized oppression and a sense of self-defeat. We have already seen this change over the last 28 days—people are inspired, energized. The second thing we wanted to see change is a push for creating space for self-representation—we can and should speak for our own people, about a wide range of issues including the right to learn ASL. This right is often withheld from Deaf children in large part because families are misled by specialists (audiologists) to believe that teaching their Deaf child to sign will impede his/her speech (and there is also an accompanying subliminal statement that this in turn will create barriers to intellectual reasoning). This has been repeatedly disproved but the larger society continues to be uninterested in and unaware of the benefits of ASL. We feel this is in large part due to the fact that ASL is not a profitable enterprise—not a lot of economic power there. Anyway this event was a way to get around that barrier and get word out to a larger audience. Interestingly the other day an interpreter working with Deaf children approached me and said something like "I have been watching every one of your videos and I feel both inspired and uncomfortable." She added that for her, this was a true indication of change happening, that she is recognizing the need to unpack biases she never knew she had about Deaf people.
     M: I recognize that change has been needed and it's inspiring to see it happen today. People, everyone, have become more self-obsessed in this new age of technology and being "connected" through phones and such, and it's a shame to think that this mentality can't be changed. I too want to see people open up again, before the time of instant information, and accept new things without any presumption or bias. I don't understand why hearing people think Deaf people are any lesser of a person. But that's why I'm learning!
     Other things that aren't profitable are beautification of cities and better public education. I know this because I've taken part in helping those causes too. But like those and yourself, they use the media to raise awareness, and that's why I'm here. My questions are limited and you've done a fantastic job in answering them, even the ones I haven't asked yet! So I guess I'll end with, has this been a success? That's difficult to answer, I realize not enough time has passed, but I ask with the intention of seeing that yes, it has, and yes, it will. After all, what does the future have in store?
     A: Yes it has been—and will continue to be with your story. Thank you for taking the time to learn more & share. We are so appreciative of your time. Next: Project Humanity (the title of our organization's long term film project). We want to explore a lot of what you wrote above- what is humanity and where are we going, what could we be? Thanks again for your time. You can contact me at alisonaubrecht@gmail.com with any follow up questions you might have- and please send us a copy of the article once it is published! :)
     M: Great! How do you sign Thank you?

     While Alison would type, another woman sitting at the campfire tried to talk to me. She signed, but I gave her an apologetic look because I couldn't comprehend. She laughed and resorted to her phone for the beginning of our conversation. She asked if I was in high school, so I wrote back, answering that I am in college and some background information. Then we progressed into signing—I know, what? I just said I couldn't, but it's certainly not impossible. I could understand gestures, and figured out that she was trying to ask my name. I wrote it on the phone and she showed me how to say "My name is Kevan." She put her hand to her chest, then two fingers tapping two more fingers, and then finger-spelled my name. I followed instruction, she corrected me, and I finished with a sense of accomplishment. She then showed me her name! I now know how to also say "Your name is Lisa."
     I waved hello and goodbye to the others around the campfire when arriving and leaving, but nothing much more. Sitting there idly while Alison typed and before I talked to Lisa, I stared off into the scenery. In Hearing culture, it's rude to stare, especially to watch or listen in on a conversation; so I felt that way as the others around the fire would sign to each other. I had no idea what was being said, but it still felt wrong to watch. As I've learned in my Deaf Culture class, it's not rude, and in fact, eye contact is required out of respect to "listen" to a conversation. I had this in my mind the whole time but since I couldn't understand, I felt awkward both ways.
     They were all nice people. In a few years’ time, I hope to understand the language and communicate effectively. So far in my life, I haven't knowingly met a Deaf person, so I've never encountered the communication barrier noticed any cultural differences until I started the Deaf Culture class. Beginning with that, and now this event, I am very curious to learn more. In Southern California, in which the second most-spoken language is Spanish, I feel that ASL is a more valuable skill to learn. I could reach the individuals that most other "regular" people can't. And just a semester ago, I was one of those people! I will recommend the class to all, I will pursue learning the natural language, and will do a part in spreading the cause of the fine people of Walk For ASL.


     The one benefit of this interview that is unique to a Deaf person and a non-signing person is that the interview is written, all ready for the report it is to become. Hearing people are vocal and Deaf people are visual; here, the conversation literally becomes part of the report.
     I noticed that on the sheet of paper that lists the requirements for the report, it says to not wait until the last minute to attend an event. And yet, that's exactly what happened. I went to the event the day before it's due, and wrote about it as it was fresh in my memory.

Difficulties in my Train of Thought

Whether or not any of the comments in this post are repeats of past posts, I feel the need to share them.

I feel that there is someone out there for me. I'd like to believe it's someone I've already met, already have talked to and know decently well. Personally, this would make the engagement of a new relationship easier and lessen the need of sharing my background, since she would already know some of it. Recently, I have thought about this. I have thought about some of the girls I already know.
     But I know how unlikely anything will ever happen with any of them. I feel like I have a certain label; something that's unattractive about me that a stranger wouldn't be able to pick up easily. I'm not a great looking guy, but physical attraction isn't the point I'm trying to make. There's something about me that people who know me don't like. I don't know what. I'm separated by an invisible force. An unknown quality.
     I want to know what one person thinks about me. Then I want to know what another person thinks. And another. What's in common?

And the basis of judging me shouldn't be dependent on what I've written online here. I am, I certainly am without a doubt, a different person (a different personality) between here and in person. I've discussed my lack of charisma before, but I know that's a huge factor in what people see of me. There's one of my big problems. I know this. I've been trying to fix it, but takes time.
     One trait about me that I don't see in others is my... direct, or blunt approach. I would best describe it as being honest has brought more bad than good. I'm honest. That should be a good thing. Nope, that's what ended my relationship.
     I wish other people would be more direct with me. I would greatly appreciate that! Keeping your comments to yourself is the opposite of what I want.

As much as I want to be with someone, a girl I know, I lack the confidence to overcome my past and start anew. I feel like I won't be accepted. So my hope is left in someone I haven't met yet. It's likely to be some time from now; not soon.

But recently I've enjoyed my time alone(ish). I don't have the responsibility of taking care of someone else. I get to be who I want to be. I shouldn't spoil that for myself. Time will tell.

I have mixed feelings. There's pros and cons for both.

I'm holding things in. I'll wait for a better time.

Sharing My Life Again

There are a lot of things I can talk about, if only I wrote down notes or had the time to pull this tablet out and type.
     Let's start with the most recent events, and work backwards. But it's important for you to read the previous post below before reading this one. Do that.

I spent an evening with two friends. It was nice, pretty fun sometimes, and produced a cake. A fragile, broken, messy, and doused-in-glaze cake, but a cake nonetheless. They both go to schools away from home, one out of state, even. It's the end of May and they've finished their classes, thus came home. I suggesting hanging out with one, who invited the other.
It was an enjoyable evening, both the baking and plainly seeing them again.

Yesterday I had my car radio fixed. It was broken due to user error (I'm a total idiot. Really, I made a bonehead mistake and broke a perfectly working thing). The previous owner installed a nice radio but did a botch job putting the wires together. It sometimes produced static due to loose wire connections. It was just a mess in there, so I went in and cleaned it up by soldering and neatly tying it together. Long story short, I was without a radio for a few days, but luckily a pro (and very nice!) radio guy solved the problem.

The reason I took the radio out was, I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, because it literally fell out when I was driving. The previous owner put the radio in without securing it.

The reason I wanted to solder the wires, in addition to the aforementioned reasons, was because I was already soldering my new CB radio to my new power horn/speaker.

This is the best part, or should I say, the best upgrade to the car so far. A friend of mine has the same setup, and I wanted to have my own. It consists of a CB radio that has a PA function, the included microphone, and a separate speaker wired under the hood. This setup allows me to speak to people outside my car (and at a distance!). I can "meow" or give compliments or say hi to random pedestrians on sidewalks, on bicycles, or in other cars. This doesn't sound all exciting on paper, but it is SO much fun if you've got the balls to speak out to strangers!
     Tangent: My confidence and sociability has increased recently. I'm slowly talking to more people because I'm slightly less afraid to. I'm shy, that basic principle is never going away, but it is slowly decreasing. That's why I went to hang out with some friends tonight: I wasn't afraid to ask.
     Additionally, there was a pretty girl in my class who talked to me after class, and I later/now realize/d she might have hit on me. Which is good, because I've liked looking at her since the beginning of the semester. I have some courage to talk to her again, something I wouldn't have a month and more ago.
     And I think it's worth noting that me, a shy person, has a convertible, which the top is rarely kept on. This goes towards the enjoyment of driving, but also shows that I'm not afraid of other people looking at me. Now that I have a loudspeaker, I've increased the likeliness of people turning heads my way (if I make a sound or speak, naturally).
     My friends have enjoyed using the PA, or at minimum laughed with me at the idea of having this cool function. Because it really is a silly idea! A PA on your car... not common, but incredibly entertaining; just watching some people's reaction to hearing me say something (mainly "meow") has been an irreplaceable sense of enjoyment. Just remember that you have to have the balls to say something to someone you don't know at all, and a sharp mind to say something worth saying. Both of which I'm developing.
     The unit was installed over the weekend. It took three days. Three fucking days. Well, a span of. An evening, a second evening, and an afternoon. The first evening was mostly about finding the place to put the box: one of two spots in the center dash, stashed on the side, or under my seat, where it now lays. At that time, the radio hadn't been broken, but it was loose, so we tightened it in with a rack I bought online. We also managed the wiring of the unit, consisting of power and the line out to the speaker. The driver's seat came out to mount the unit: first tried directly on the bottom of the seat, which failed, then to the floor of the car, which was accomplished the second night. The first night was basically prep work. Also, we found out the speaker I bought cheap online from China didn't work, so there was no reason to continue with the installation.
     The next day I bought miscellaneous parts and a new speaker. I mounted the box to the car floor (through the carpet to the steel sheet) and soldered together the power wires and then the speaker wire to the plug. The seat was a real pain in the ass to re-install because the box was in the way; I can't slide the seat all the way forward, preventing access of the back bolts. So after much fiddling and a trip to the hardware store, the seat is back and mostly bolted in.
     The third day was mounting the speaker to the mouth of the car behind the front license plate. Simple install with the car on jack stands. Soldered the speaker wires, and now I have a fantastic new toy in my car.
     The downside is, I drive a manual. This means, most of the time, one hand is on the steering wheel, the other on the shift knob. I don't have a third hand to hold the mic all the time, but there's usually enough time between gear shifts to get something out if I have to. :) I've made it work.

Sorry if that was too long. I've already tried my best to condense the first two stories. I could have said a lot more about what happened tonight because it's fresh in my memory.

Sometime between the installation of the PA and the breaking of the radio, I encountered another problem. My dashboard lights don't go on. Meaning, at night, I can't see my speed or revs or gas etc. And the dome light doesn't work. And recently I got an engine light warning. I've noticed that starting the car takes a little longer than it did (the starter motor spins longer before the ignition sets off the engine). It's a problem I don't know how to fix. Also, since I broke the radio, the power antenna won't go down. Basically, I need to go to the dealer soon.

As you may remember, I am a (volunteer) teacher for my high school's film class. I think, think, the last time I mentioned this was regarding a film project they were going to start. I don't know how long ago that was but they haven't starting filming yet. They almost did, on Sunday, but was canceled. I waited with two students on Sunday who didn't get the message of the cancelation until they had already waited an hour.
     They're way behind schedule (as usual) but I still have faith /something/ will be produced. A couple Friday's ago, we had a crew rehearsal in which they practiced setting up the "set," getting the shots, communicating, and general knowledge before shooting the real thing.
     What we need to discuss the next time I see them is full contact information across the board: everyone should be able to contract everyone else (in case of cancellations).
     I don't know the ending, but the story's interesting: there's a mute girl (mute by choice) with an imaginary friend, and this friend is angered when a nerdy guy wants to help the girl shake her muteness. I hope you agree with me in that this this is indeed an interesting premiss. I hope we can see what this looks like if and when they film it.

Dog sitting (technically called dog boarding) has picked up recently. Either, advertising for the service (DogVacay.com) has gotten better, or more people around me are in need of my service! My rate isn't the lowest but it is reasonably priced and is the lowest in my immediate area, compared to other hosts nearby. Lower rates exist farther away.
     A Vizsla, a breed native to Hungary, stayed for almost two weeks, and I hope she comes back for another visit. I liked that dog. She was well mannered. Another owner came to visit/inspect, but didn't like the potential choking hazard my side yard posed. The dog liked to chew things, and I have things tucked away, that could potentially be chewed, although no other dogs/owners have had a problem with that. Two dogs that did stay with me most recently were also great guests; quiet, obedient, and cute. The owner's flight had been canceled and tried to book another asap, and I did my part to lessen the worry of picking up her dogs later than planned. It paid off in a satisfied client, and a tip.

School is ehh. In pre-calc, we're learning about matrices, and currently on the lesson of Cramer's Rule, Minors, and Cofactors. This shit is fucking pointless. She describes this is one of the program languages of computers. That part is useful. But the processes of obtaining numbers from sets of numbers is mind-blowingly dull. Not hard, but long, tedious, and dull.
     In my deaf culture class, that one hot girl talked to me, so that's all I remember at the moment.
     In fact, I don't even remember what my other classes are.


But I do remember that I registered for summer and fall classes. One of my friends is taking a law class. I don't need to, but it seems like useful knowledge, and I have nothing else to do this summer, so I joined. Another friend might take a class, I asked which one, and enrolled in it. But she doesn't go to the school so her registration date for non-students isn't until June, and I don't know if any spots will be open by then. It's another class I don't need, but sounds interesting and might have a buddy in it, so why not, I don't have anything else to do.

Coming up this weekend is the Hermosa Beach Fair. It's an annual gathering of small businesses under tents on a street before the Hermosa Pier. I mention this because my mom is a small business owner who bought a space at this fair and plans to sell things. Jewelry. Lots of jewelry. She's been going nuts about this. I've had to help. Not fun for me, but it seems to make her happy. If you're in town, come visit our tent! Chic Indulgences. I'll be the cashier, and providing second opinions to those cute girls who could use it. ;)

I... think I've exhausted my recent news. I shared my past and future, but here's something for my present: a lot of things cluster my mind, so I can't accurately tell you what's on my mind. There are things I want to say but that's filtered because it might be taken the wrong way or I simply don't want a stranger to know certain details about my life. That is why many things are vague, because sometimes it's best to keep some information safe. I'm always open to answer questions, but I've never gotten any, so I don't expect them.

There's got to be a better way to end this life update of mine. How about, my life looks pretty decent now. I'm optimistic about the future. May there be many more adventures to come!

The Beginning of a New and Better Life

Before I begin: This was written about 8 days ago. I wasn't ready to publish it, but now I am. In a future post, there are going to be many updates concerning the car. So here it is, my new (and first) set of wheels.

The only thing on my mind now is my car. It's the only thing that's been on my mind, pretty much since I've gotten it. It's been about a month so far.

Originally I wanted a different car. Much older, a car of looks, not performance. In fact, it smelled a bit of CO because that car was built before smog regulations were created. But it was the (in my opinion) best of the classic British sports cars: The MG Midget. The year I might have gotten was a 1969, with beautiful chrome over a new black paint job. Much of it had been restored except the engine. But I tell ya, it was a looker. It grabbed attention. I wanted to be seen in it. But it's really more than I can explain. Classic British sports cars are... something of their own. Different than other other breed of cars. Reliable? No. They had something special; character. They had, well I don't want to say heart, but an emotional value. That's not specific to just the roadsters though--many cars before the 80's, moreso the cars before 1975, had character. It was something that NO new car today has. Lack of creativity, passion, and a shit-ton of regulations prevents new cars from possessing the character cars used to have. I'm really not the person to explain it; I wasn't a part of the era, but I do feel like one of the few young people who at least understands it. Honestly, understanding and explaining are two very different things.

Anyway, I was talked out of buying the old car for reasons of price and reliability, among others. I told my parents, who pay my insurance, the only other car I would favor is a Mazda Miata. Which, if you don't know, is the unofficial successor of British sports cars, minus the reputation of reliability. Since 1989, this little Japanese roadster has been the go-to vehicle for a great handling, easily tunable, and spunky convertible roadster. I bought a 2001 base model, and am now the third owner. It doesn't have the charisma as a classic European roadster, but instead it replaces it with modern reliability and improved handling.

I have big plans for it. This is the sort of car that has grown on me. Like I said, it wasn't my first choice, but now that I spend more time with it, I'm loving it more and more. And that's a tough battle; I can't express how much I pursued owning a Midget. It drove my mom nuts. She thought I would be spending money I don't have on "fixing" it, which, in terms of labor, I actually wanted to do. Tinker, fix. That's my cup of tea (woo, British joke).

Instead of money going into fixing a classic (which honestly, I think would have been a good investment! As long as it's maintained, the value would potentially go up), I will now be putting money into upgrading the Miata.

But I want to get this bit in first, because some people have a prejudice about this car. Some people think this is a girl's car. Let's start there: no. Personally, I've never seen a woman driving a Miata. Guys who drive Miata's are guys who like to drive cars. The car itself /is/ a driver's car. It's not a fast accelerating car, it's a driver's car. Mostly, I've seen modified Miata's, driven by young-ish dudes. Now, people say it's a girl's car because the face of the car is girly. I do concede to this train of thought: it's not a masculine muscle car or quarter-million super car. I do think it's not a beefy looking car, BUT 1. When I'm driving it, I'm enjoying the fucking drive, not looking at the front of the car 2. It's not a bad look either. I like it, a bit. The rest of the body looks good too. It's got the curvy shapes like a curvy woman, so you know what? I like my car how I like my women: curvy. By the way, I'm speaking in regards to my NB model (1999-2005). The NA (1991-1997) is less curvy and therefore less feminine. The NC (2006+) looks so cheerful, especially the new ones. Like a chipmunk. My opinion. Lastly, anyone who criticizes the Miata, any Miata, has never driven one. So to those people insulting its styling: piss off, go stare at another car.

As I mentioned, young dudes (like 20's, 30's) are the ones picking these up and beefing them up. Step one is turbo charging, a goal of mine. It's not my first step, but the one I would take if I could. A turbo, intercooler, clutch+flywheel, new exhaust, lower springs/shocks, cambered wheels, roll bar, and even new body panels (and new paint, for those who want it) are all part of the beefy upgrades, and all of which I wish to do myself (or with help). Help makes the process more fun and quicker, granted we know what we're doing. Otherwise it's off to the shop for professional advice and/or installation. In my case, the best turbo kit (best, period) is just over $5000. The kit includes everything for the install, hence, "kit." Obviously, this yields the highest gain in power, which, hey, is obviously what a gearhead wants. The more reasonable kit is $3000 for a reasonable power gain. In my case, any power gain is welcome. The beauty of those kits is that the lesser kit is upgradable; that's how they were designed! Either way, the exhaust system and clutch must also be upgraded, adding at least $1000 more. Hey, you don't skimp on this sort of stuff. You want quality and durability and reliability? You pay for it. It's worth it.

But is it worth it? This is where it's debatable. Subjective. Nobody /has/ to upgrade their cars. No one has to have a fast and fun car. And yet... millions do. Millions buy factory rockets, millions more upgrade and do the work themselves. Why? Answers vary wildly, but I can generalize: it's fun. It's a great feeling. It's pride and maybe talent and usually bragging rights, both in terms of performance and wealth. Most of know at least one "car guy" and many people will never get it; they just don't understand the fascination of cars. I'm not the one to explain it, but my simple retort is this: why are women fascinated by clothes and shoes and jewelry? I'll never get it, but I'm not really going to try. I'll just enjoy my car(s).

That's what been occupying my mind lately, among other things. The first item on my list is a paint job. The car does actually need it--there's chipped paint in places, a few scratches, and a badly-repaired dent on the rear quarter panel. On top of that, I don't particularly like the color: a typical, bland silver. So since it needs to be painted already, I'll go ahead and opt for a new, more stealth "Metallic Titanium" dark gray color. After that, I'll upgrade my shocks (the mechanic that inspected the entire vehicle said I need new front shocks) so again, since I already need it, I'll do myself a favor and swap them all and lower it with new springs. Unfortunately, rims are freakishly expensive, but I'll definitely want new ones with the new paint. The mechanic also said I need new tires. The list goes on. This is an expensive but very rewarding hobby.

And I want to share the hobby. Not share the costs, but to share the fun of putting it all together, and to share the feeling of acceleration. After all, that's why there's a passenger seat!

Re: Seats

I'm about to answer my own questions I asked in my previous posts about seats. If you haven't read that post, the one right below this post, stop reading this post and scroll down to read that post.

Why do people sit?
     What kind of dumbfuck question is that? To rest our legs. Right? There's my educated guess. I'm not going to try to be scientific with that shit. But I've always wondered,
     Why do people have butts?
So we can fuckin' sit. Case closed. Next. (no seriously, why do we have butts (specifically butt cheeks)?)
     The question "why do we sit" and the proceeding paragraph have no transition or logical connection, and it certainly doesn't answer the question. So I guess for continuity, the question should be changed to,
     "Why do we have such shitty seats?"
No, that's not a good replacement question. The answer is simple: money. I shouldn't have to explain myself more.
     But perhaps I can think of a better initial question: "Why do we sit the way we sit?" The answer to this is less defined, because "the way we sit" is subjective and differs between seat type, type of person sitting, reason for sitting, and even type of building the seat is in. Therefore this question is too vague. I'm going to stop fiddling with scenarios because this isn't a scientific study.

At the end I say my "final" question when really it's only the second question. I'm not wrong, but final is a bit of an overstatement.
     Unfortunately the answer to this final one just as vague as the one right above here (sit the way we sit). Some car makers do make good quality stock seats. However, you'll find them on the more expensive cars. Otherwise, the answer is because it saves money on the total cost of the car.

So I render my previous post sort of pointless. It had thinking potential but didn't provide comprehensive questions or useful real-world experiences.

But, holy shit guys, it's just a blog post.
So is this. Wow.

I should stop analyzing my own posts from now on.

Thoughts on Seats

This is a totally random topic.
I'm not looking for scientific reasoning or detailed explanations; these are more of rhetorical questions.
Why do we sit?
     Some time ago, I remember reading an article about how when we sit, our body/spine is taking on weight in a way it wasn't supposed to. When we stand, our torso is suited nicely over the pelvis (I'm no expert, anatomy grosses me out). But when we sit, all the muscles that help support the torso are now at rest(?) which puts more strain on other parts.
     Getting to the point, the article was showcasing a new development in office chair design that properly supports the back--it embraced the notion of reclining, where your back is sloped so the weight is distributed more evenly.
     So I'm thinking, yeah, perfect! I hate trying to sit up straight and inevitably slouch in my stupid uncomfortable school chairs.
     I didn't finish the article, so you could say I only read half the story. Plus this was a while ago, so my retelling of the article is marginally, at best, accurate.
     Coincidentally, however, I'm laying, or reclining in my bed as I write this. I'm pretty comfortable.

The reason I bring this up is because my back was hurting after sitting in a car driving through traffic for two hours. I don't normally do that, it was for a favor, although I knew traffic was inevitable (I live in LA-drove both ways on the 110 and 405-the epitome of congestion on freeways during (the hilariously named) "rush hour"). And just because I said I don't do it often doesn't mean I haven't done it a hundred times before.

My final question, and literally the purpose of me writing all this, is
Why don't car makers invest more into better stock seats?

Thoughts on a Phone

It's currently one day away from Google I/O, a large annual conference of Google stuff. Media sources expect one of the items to be revealed is the Nexus 5, or update to the existing Nexus 4. The Nexus 4 is my number one choice for a new smartphone. Not the Galaxy S 4, not the HTC One, and certainly not the iPhone 5. On a side note, if you remember an old post I have about Tablets, I preferred the Nexus 10 over the 4 other top choices, so my desire for Nexus products is fairly longstanding.
     My mom and I currently have the original Galaxy S, which was outdated when we bought it, and it's barely holding up now. After two years, we're eligible for an upgrade. For reasons other than desire that I won't explain now, we actually need to upgrade our phones. And we have a deadline to get them.
    Actually, between the two of us, just one needs to have the updated phone in order to use a card scanner (she is running a small business and is selling at a street fair; a mobile card scanner is a must).
     I want to hold out for a day or two to see if Google announces a new phone. If they do, I'll continue to wait until it's officially released in stores to buy it. My mom, in the meantime, will get the Nexus 4 for her business.
     If a new phone isn't announced, which I think is unlikely, both my mom and I will get the N4. I recommend the N4 to anyone over any other phone. It's the goods you need without the glitter/crap you don't. Please consult a medical examiner to understand why you would pay more for a phone with stuff you aren't going to use.

Aftermath

The door has closed, the ship has sailed. It was a good two years with a shitty ending. I'm now over my ex.

I think about her less and less, but considering so many things in my room have some memory of her (my bed, for example. I can't get rid of my bed), I can't totally force her memory out. Just the thought that she's still out there passes my mind; nothing more.

The good news is, no more arguments, whining, guilt, or petty annoyances on a daily basis from her. Those sorts of things I have easily forgotten and am loving to have without. And no more 2+ hour conversations at night means more me time, and I've really enjoyed and benefited from that! Homework, projects, watching more educational videos (science, cars, history, etc), and browsing the web can be done sooner, and more of.
     Supposedly, you know what it's like to have more free time. That kind of "wasted" time, but it's really more of a "catch-up" time. Catch up on things I haven't spent enough time on before, or start new things. This isn't the most free time I've ever had (that would be during my semester off after high school), but I am rediscovering more "me" time.
     I guess it's the time to re-evaluate yourself after a break-up. It's only now that I made up the concept, but subconsciously I've done it all along (don't we all?)
     I feel like a better, freer person now. The person I want to be without having a dependent I need to compromise for. I'm also not out in the field looking for another special someone, not even a fling, and certainly not a replacement.

I have my own life to look forward to. It's also a good time to build and rebuild friendships, which is what I'm working on now.

Yes, I would like to have another wonderful girlfriend in the future. I don't know how far into the future. I keep my eyes open for the right opportunity. It could be soon, could be far away. Basically, all I'm saying is, all I'm telling myself is, I'm single. And already, I feel better about it.

Recovery

I could be a real mean person.
I suppose anyone can, with enough effort.

But I mention this because there is a lot that I have kept to myself. I am a quiet person, in person, so it's not common to see me holding a long conversation, let alone spill my heart out. This, here, this writing, is really the only escape I have. And I've mentioned this before in older posts.
     In regards to the comments I keep to myself, I wish someone knew what they were, and thank me for keeping them inside.

These feelings are due to my breakup with my girlfriend (It's been about a month since).
Actually, I've had the feelings long during the relationship, but like I said, they remained bottled up. I don't have someone to turn to in order to release the emotion stirring inside. I suppose that's a good thing, though, because frankly, I don't know what these feelings are, or how to express them. Maybe I can't define them, or maybe I could define in the moment of release.

I just want her to know what I have truly thought of her
but I don't want to tell her
and probably never will.

What's more important to me, is that
I want to be valued for traits that nobody recognizes.
I want to be thanked for keeping my mouth shut and not intentionally hurting feelings.