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Hi. Someday I want to be a filmmaker, but right now, I don't know how good I am at it. Which is a weird things to say, considering I've wanted to do that for a while, so much that I teach a class about it. But never have I made my own short film to show myself that I can make something cool.

So with the deals buzzing around Black Friday (on a Wednesday, in fact), I bought a Canon EOS Rebel T3i/600D. It has the best quality video of any DSLR for the lowest price*. It was also on sale, so I got it with two kit lenses for $660. 400 of that is a Christmas gift from my parents.
I have also bought some accessories, including two lens mount adapters for the lenses my parents already have (a collection of Minolta MD and T52's). Those mounts have yet to come, but with the camera in hand, I spent half my day shooting with it.

This is my new portfolio. There's many more where that came from, but those are my 15 best from today.

Anyway, the real purpose of the camera is for videography. I had come up with a story not too long ago, and gosh, I realized I needed a recording device. The problem was, I had to consider, should I save my money to buy a car (I don't own one, I use my parent's) or do lots of creative things with this little guy. Long story short, the purchase of a vehicle (whether it's my dad's car or a new leased one) has been set back a while longer.

So soon I'll be meeting with my cast of two to discuss my idea and locations and dates. I'm excited by this, but quite honestly very frightened, because I don't know how good or bad this will turn out. I fear it'll be really bad because I haven't done something like this before. Most of my previous work has been for high school: a controlled, small environment with lower expectations. I want to show this to the world (youtube, vimeo, pretty much) and show myself that I am engaging myself in a promising career.

Animation is my second choice career; just thought I'd point that out.

Yes, I do have experience in filmmaking and photography, I've done some work and seen it happen, but nothing like this before. I know this is vague, but the details of the short film are soon to come, after my meeting with my friends.


*It's subjective, but based on several well-renowned reviews.

Art is Cool Too, You Who. Poo.

Just as a reminder to anyone following these posts, I'd like to remind you I also host a second blog, required by my digital art teacher. Soooo, yeah, I have new stuff there, check it out.

http://kevanzartromero.blogspot.com/

Have fun, my lads~

Tablets

My teacher asked me about tablets, because he knows I have one and knows I pay attention to this sort of stuff. I spent some time putting together this list for him, and decided to share it with the whole internet. But as you'll find out, all this information can be found on the one site I link to.
---

I frequently visit a site with lots of tech news and reviews, and this is where I form and am told opinions about the cool stuff out there.
You should start with the tablet buying guide: http://reviews.cnet.com/tablet-buying-guide/
I didn't check each device to see that it outputs video, however they all can with adapters. Also they all can print wirelessly if connected to a certain type of printer. Otherwise, send the file you want to print to a computer that is already connected to a printer. Lastly, they all can use and a few can likely be bought with a dedicated keyboard. Those are the conditions I remember you gave me. If there were more, sorry, I forgot. Read the reviews to find your answer.

Microsoft Surface
This is the first piece of hardware from the company (excluding mouses/mice or whatever). It runs the new version of Windows, which is skeptical for most buyers.
This is the video review: http://cnettv.cnet.com/microsoft-surface-best-productivity-tablet-yet/9742-1_53-50133668.html
This is the written, very detailed review: http://reviews.cnet.com/tablets/microsoft-surface-rt/4505-3126_7-35332494.html
It is $500, a "touch" keyboard and cover is like $100 more, and a physical "type" keyboard is even more. http://surface.microsoftstore.com/store/msstore/Content/pbpage.Surface_Category?ESICaching=off
On the surface, it seems to meet your needs. But like I, among others, aren't sure about the software. It is definitely something you should go into a store to play with.

Asus Transformer Pad Infinity TF700
The second I'll list is an Android "flagship" tablet. Basically, fully loaded, all the bells and whistles, lots of features and more, and can pair with a dedicated keyboard.
http://reviews.cnet.com/tablets/asus-transformer-pad-infinity/4505-3126_7-35332613.html
The dedicated but expensive keyboard runs for $150. The tablet is $500, and can be found here:
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Asus+-+Transformer+Pad+Infinity+Tablet+with+32GB+Memory+-+Gray/5717344.p?id=1218686513247&skuId=5717344
ultimately, this would be a bold choice, but a good choice for someone who wants lots of performance, lots of pixels, and every little feature.

Google Nexus 10
This isn't a fully decked-out device, but it does run the latest software of Android, which makes it have an edge. Other little things add up too.
http://reviews.cnet.com/google-nexus-10/
However, I don't currently know of a dedicated keyboard designed to pair with it. I imagine a few may come out, or otherwise any other keyboard does technically have the capability to pair with it via Bluetooth. Any Bluetooth-enabled keyboard can pair with any tablet these days.
At $400, it is also cheaper than the others. Another good edge. https://play.google.com/store/devices/details?id=nexus_10_16gb&feature=microsite

Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1
The main feature of this versus any other on the market is the included pen. This probably appeals to writing/drawing people. Otherwise, I see it as a mostly good yet average tablet on the market, and its $500 price tag makes it a tough sell. It includes a "skin," which is the manufacturer's addition to the Android software. Some people like it, some prefer the "pure Android experience," which can be found only on the Nexus 10. The Asus tablets also have their own "skins."
http://reviews.cnet.com/tablets/samsung-galaxy-note-10/4505-3126_7-35147489.html
And by the way, since you mentioned that a Samsung device was the buzz word around there, I just wanna say that compared to the other choices here, this wouldn't be my first or second choice. The pen does interest me a bit, that's way it's not my last pick.
This, like the Nexus 10, doesn't (to my knowledge) have a special keyboard made just for it. But I'm sure someone would make one.

Asus Transformer Pad TF300
Last is the baby brother. It's a stripped down version of the one above, as the video will explain. It is, however, quite a bang for its buck.
http://reviews.cnet.com/tablets/asus-transformer-pad-tf300/4505-3126_7-35230241.html
And price: $350, not including the $150 keyboard http://www.amazon.com/Transformer-TF300-T-B1-BL-10-1-Inch-Tablet/dp/B007P4YAPK



My personal pick?
Errr... uhhh.... At the moment, I think I may choose the Nexus 10. The price is especially attractive, something the others don't have. Well, I'd rather pay the $50 more compared to the little Transformer Pad and get a lot more cool things out of it.
My personal pick differs than yours, mainly because you asked for a keyboard. Well after some time, I'm sure there will be one just for it. I'd certainly look for one.


The reason I have an iPad 2 is because it was/is $400, versus all the full-loaded $500 ones on the market. Unfortunately, the fancy-ass keyboard I have is a whopping $100. It doubles as a screen cover, and it's thin and was made to look nice, so that's their justification. I bought another keyboard before what I have now, and I like the keyboard itself better, the layout was better and just had better function keys, but the design of the product as a whole made it a hassle to have to always fold together when not in use, and having to carry the keyboard and ipad as two separate things was a nuisance.
That's why the keyboard for the Surface looks good versus the others. It's a cover, but can also be folded completely back. I don't think the Asus tablets fold all the way back, I think it acts just like a laptop and folds halfway. And having to click and unclick the Asus tablets from their dock would take a fraction of a second longer than I want. But the benefit of those is that their keyboards house extra batteries for extended battery life when connected.

To be honest, based on my positive experience with my current iPad, if I had the money I would upgrade to a newer iPad. I certainly don't need to, there's nothing wrong with mine, but I have been conditioned to think that mine is outdated and inferior to everything else.
I do keep this in mind, though: the iPad was made for consumers, not producers. It's basically a toy, not so much a tool for productivity. But that's not true for a lot of people... many do use it for their business and education.
The other reason I have an iPad is because laptops are too expensive. I wanted a portable typing tool for school. A $400 entertainment device was more appealing that a $300 slow-ass Windows computer and an expensive $800 mid-range Windows computer. But I have nothing against Windows, that's what I'm running on now and prefer this to a Mac. And for the sake of telling you, I have a beefy Windows 7 desktop, iPad 2, and an Android smartphone. It's old so I'll refrain from telling which one.


Hope you enjoy the work I put into this. Feel free to ask a bunch of questions.
~Kevan

This Thing

I made it: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chilezen/sets/72157631980384229/
It's my collection of picture of my haunted house. Y'know, that thing I spent all month working on while also going to school and looking for a job and having a girlfriend? Yeah, remind me next year that I can't do all those things at once. So here you go, I won't be doing it again next year.

Now go do that thing you should probably be doing now. :)

Productive Days

More updates after this busy weekend.

I encourage you to do the fullscreen thing and also read the brief captions.

As seen from a prospective trick-or-treater.

Walking up the steps.

A representation of the pathway through the graveyard.

A curious cat.

A whole section of walls are missing, but that curtain is meant to stay.

The dolls (as seen in the floor plan) are to go here. Not the cat.

Clown!

Ghost!

I will be standing in the nook, where a future curtain will hide me.

Spinning thingies!

Lights. The grey unit is only temporarily there, with the air canon on it.

The exit. There will also be a curtain here. And a chair and lady sitting in it with candy. Candy!

My Thoughts

I finally had the day I needed. Not necessarily wanted, but needed.
I sent her a text.
I thought about her constantly, much more than I normally do.
I waited for her reply. I wanted to hear from her. To know she's okay.
To see whether she's in a good mood or bad.

But today I learned nothing. No mood. No reply. Not a word.
Today was the first time in a very, very long time I didn't hear from her.
I now feel like I know what she has felt like.
Neglected. Forgotten. Dismissed, in favor of something else.

It was weird, what I felt today. Her being on my mind, wondering what she's up to, how's she getting along. The concern was always there, but much more today.

I hope she got what she wanted. I was uncomfortable. I hope she wanted this. I made my day, with a little bug in the back of my head. I hope she made her point. I got it. I hope she forgives me.

Some Pics

This was difficult to paint.

As it currently stands. Not much going on.

Thar be the coffin.

This behemoth was dragged over on carpets!

The structure of the tent.

My pop-out ghost!

Real life vs. this photo differ.

Lesson Outline

In front of me, I have 14 topics on Post-its. I arranged them as follows:
Mystery
Entertainment
Creativity
Influencing Public Opinion
Big Brother and Power
Traveling
Public Health, Mental Health
Child Development
Being There for Someone
What the Eyes Say
Presentation
Organization
Time
Favorite Movies

I feel like I named Jeopardy categories in the voice of Will Ferrell. (Anyone? SNL fans?)

At the moment, I have bits and pieces of ideas I want to communicate to my new class. I don't know how much I actually have to say about each thing, nor how long any of them will go for (as I am limited by the 50 minute classtime), but these topics stand out to me. I came up with them by browsing content I have written here and elsewhere, so I'm not pulling these things out of my butt. I have things to say, but the things I've said on paper and the things and my capabilities of saying these things verbally are two completely different things.
     I also need to acknowledge that these high school students have attention spans of between 30 seconds and 20 minutes. I need to keep the pace moving, change things up a bit, and most importantly, engage in some interaction. Learning should be, in most cases, a hands-on experience. Hey, there's another topic.

Movies get away with holding your attention by using plot twists and changes in pace. Even Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, one of the longest, most dragged out, slowest movies I have ever sat through, still kept my interest. Despite the man snoring in the theater, I came out, glad I had seen it. It itself was a change of pace for me.

But I'm not my audience. Whiny teenagers are. Mumbling snarky comments to neighbors around them and interrupting.

     Maybe that should be among the first things for me to take control of. The class. Their behavior. Specifically their behavior around me. I've seen teachers try to wait out the noise and claim "you're only wasting your own time" sort of thing, and others quickly grab their attention by means of a loud voice and entertainment. I prefer the latter.

But enough of that, I'm boring myself.

      Here's a quick breakdown of my 14 topics:

     Mystery. I previously wrote a blog post on that. My thoughts haven't changed. As it focuses on curiosity, I plan to plant myself in the back of the class and fall asleep. I'm curious to see how they react; I hope they're curious enough to ask what I've done and am doing. I will follow with...

     Entertainment. Again, a previous post contains my thoughts. It too is driven by curiosity. You'll notice a trend here.

     Creativity. This will compliment the simplicity of Entertainment with the means of achieving it. Originality will be a key here.

     Influencing Public Opinion. This class is essentially a visual media hub, both for news and creative projects. Both are very powerful tools when used correctly. I want them to know the importance of harnessing this power.

     Big Brother and Power. It's complicated, this one. I have something in my head but don't know how to word it. I'm also afraid of even saying it.
     Traveling. Not to be confused with Running Away. Winston. But really, I do want to focus on traveling. The city, the country, the world. Experience new things. It's nothing BUT good for you (unless you die).
     Public Health, Mental Health. This is also a blog post, literally the previous one. It's a good transition from traveling the world to these student's development as human beings.
     Child Development. I will say minimal about teenage development, for I do want to cover pre-teen growth. I wrote about this in depth elsewhere, don't worry.
     Being There for Someone. This is unbelievably important. People are social creatures and need to work together. Being there to help film, act, fetch something, console someone, tell a joke, anything. It's a life lesson that filmmakers greatly benefit from and should practice every single second.
     What the Eyes Say. This is more in regards to acting, but remains true to real life. If you are going to bullshit someone who is looking you right in the eye, at least have the balls to look them right back and mean it. Sorry, it's the best example I can think of. But really, acting is ALWAYS done with the eyes.
     Presentation. Another blog post. This reflects how my presentation was me acting, not teaching. It might not go as well as I hope.
     Organization. This reflects how important it is to be organized. I couldn't have made the presentation if I hadn't given it prior thought. I have actually taught completely disorganized, and it was crap. Students constantly go out of the classroom with a camera and have no clue what they're doing, or what they're supposed to get, or how to get it (the story, the shots, etc.). I hate that. It produces shitty new segments.
     Time. This is my reflection of how little effin' time there is. There's so many goddamn things to do and so little effin' time. I have to deal with this. They have to deal with this. Deadlines. Quality content. It can be achieved. Set your goddamn priorities straight. Organize your time.
     Favorite Movies. This is my backup topic, in case I rush through everything or purposely skip stuff because I wasn't prepared. I will ask and talk with them about each of their favorite movies. This is important to me because their answers say a lot more about them to me than simply knowing their names and how they dress.

But now I have to incorporate interactive content. I need questions for them. I might need things to show them. I will need to answer their questions. I need to change pace from time to time to keep things interesting. I don't want to be sitting, lectured for an hour when I could be talking nonsense to my neighbor or texting or sleeping. I need them to move around. Dead Poets Society is an inspirational piece for me to take cues from. I think I'll watch that soon.
     As you can see, my first lesson for teaching a tv/film class has nothing directly related to skillbuilding in video production. No, it's more. It's life skills. Words of inspiration. Motivation. If, that is, I can sell it.

How Public Recreation Benefits Public Health

Parks make life better.
     I saw this on a building on my way to school. It was in colorful letters, playfully placed against the building.
     This building was in a newly updated park. I haven't been to it, but from the road I've seen a skate park, a pool, awesome shelters, and there's probably new play equipment too.
     I haven't taken a good look, either. But the most activity I've seen there is at the skate park. Lots of kids in helmets with boards and wheels under their feet, all rolling around the curves of the concrete playground. Probably for their first time, probably there to impress the others watching, probably because the parents wanted to see their kid become active. Probably, I wouldn't know.
     But most importantly, these kids are there to have fun. They are enjoying themselves, and the atmosphere, and the skill building, and the exercise, and the excitement. It's natural, all of us want to experience these feelings in a comfortable place.
     And of course, there are benches for the parents to sit at. Watching their kids have fun. Talking. Conversing, sharing. Laughing. Reading. Listening.
     There's other places to be too. The Strand; a favorite of my mom's. It's a strip of concrete stretching from Hermosa Beach to El Porto, separating the sandy beaches from oceanfront properties. It's basically a sidewalk to the ocean.
     Thousands of people walk, bike, run, skate, and otherwise move through here. People come here to enjoy themselves and the sun while moving about. North or South, either way. To look at the houses, or to look at the muscles, or to look at the babes. Walk with someone, or run alone. Bring the dog if you want. It's free, it's public, it's fun.
     It's a place where people enjoy being alive. You'd almost never find a sourpuss there. It's busy, but it's relaxing. It's sometimes hot, but has a cool coastal breeze. There's an old fart from time to time, but mostly you'll find bikinis and dresses bouncin' around. It's a place of near bliss.
     Whether or not it's a park, whether or not it is an intended recreational area, people will find their way there. Build it and they will come. They seek pleasure. They seek a place of comfort, to be in their zone, to get away, to return to a state of self fulfillment.
     People seek happiness. Give people a place to be happy, because happy people make other people happy. Happiness is what moves us forward. Happy people... are happy.

Time

I wish I had more of it.
I wish I could write more, to reflect and share my thoughts.
I could sleep more.
I could make the short film for Film Riot's Halloween challenge. I think I could.
I could prepare my lesson plan for the TV class I will teach on Friday. I need to have something to share with the teacher before I go in. And I want it to be good!
I could draw more thumbnails for my art class.
I could illustrate Alandria and her surrounding environment for my digital art class.
I could start that report on Stanley Kubrick.
I could study more architecture and figure out what that teacher is talking about.
I could read the books for the Lit & Film class. I don't like reading. (Ironically I love writing.) But I want to read Fight Club, even though I've seen the movie. I want to lay down and do nothing else besides read a book.
I could build things for Halloween. There's already a long list that's constantly being added to.
I could play more with my cats. I love cats. They're just... such enjoyable creatures. I can't describe. It's a love, and I have 5 to love, and I would love to have more.
I could spend time with, not just talk to, but be with my girlfriend. I could hold her. I could love her. I could taste and smell her (kissing and such... and she smells nice). I could see her, and enjoy watching her. We could do so many wonderful things together, if we had the time.
I could clean up my room. I would like that.
I could finish many of the animations I've started on my computer.
I could edit photo albums I've pushed aside.
I could go out and take more photos.
I could drive more! I love driving... I love moving that car around, being inside of it, hearing the engine roar, shifting ever so often, taking tight turns...
I could talk to more people that I want(ed) to have been friends with. Well, still, yes, I don't particularly enjoy being alone, or having only my girlfriend to talk to. I like going out to places, and sometimes things are better shared with someone(s). Friends, ya know? People to do things with. I don't have (m)any.
I could get a job. I could commit myself to showing up somewhere and repeating a simple task with/for other people, and earning spending cash.
I could buy stuff. Ohhh, what stuff there is to buy. Gas, food, Lego's, wood, film equipment, theme park tickets, plane tickets, train tickets, sporting events, computer upgrades...and that's just scratching the surface (as I would imagine with most other people).
I could read more Cracked articles. I could watch more Vimeo videos. I could go though more Memes. I could listen to more music I've never heard.
I could finish watching all of Top Gear. I'm on series 10 at the moment, 8 to 9 more to go, I love this show! It's educational and entertaining.
I could watch oh SO many movies. SO many movies have been made that I'm interested in seeing.
I could take more classes. I could further educate myself. Cars, in particular. Explosives and rocket science wouldn't be a bad idea either. Hell, I'm a bit interested in politics. I want to learn how to "play" the stock market. I want to learn how this and that works. Robotics.
I could draw in general more. Life drawing, mostly. I favor pencil art, but colored and paint would be of an interest to me. Ceramics/sculpture too.
I could go places. Far away places. I like abandoned places, vast empty places, teaming wildlife places, lakes and forests, waterfalls, I haven't ever been in snow... Different countries. I could even try to learn a language. Different cultures. Foods. Ways of life. Art and architecture.
I could go to the beach more. I mean, I could go to the beach. I really need to tan. And babes... mmm... babes.
I could exercise. God I need to exercise. I'm so weak and tire easily. I can't hold my breath long. I can't run or do anything long, which I used to be able to do. I was on the track team before. I was fit, I did sports when I was a kid. Then computers came along...
I could volunteer at the animal shelter again. It was ho-hum, but getting to pet the kittens and working with my girlfriend made the experience.
But most of all, I could sit, lay back, enjoy a day of nice weather, and do... nothing. All the time in the world, to do nothing.

If I had the time.

ps. I wrote this in the dark, so errors may be present. I don't know yet. Also, I'm sure there's other things, lesser things, but still realistic things I could add. But I'm tired. Goodnight.

Food For Thought: Entertainment

The punchline. The season finale. After the break. True love? Behind the third door. Will there be cake?
     The final score. The countdown. The strategy. The plot; the execution. The creativity.
     The end result.

     Curiosity.
The drive in all humanity. The eventual satisfaction.

Food For Thought: Presentation

Self appearance is priority number one to the confident person. Only when all fulfillments have been met inside, then can one project a positive image.
     Create an act. Live up to someone you're not. Falsify yourself. Set higher standards. Be an imaginary superpower.
     Lead people t believe there's something greater to be said at every moment. Lead them on. Trick them. Your act is a lie, but your presentation is power. Show them confidence you don't have. Speak with  ferocity. Bite your tongue. Hold out on words. Don't kid yourself, you wouldn't listen to your boring old self. Hold a secret in your hand, and don't let it go. Show everyone you have this secret. Make them want it. You want them to have it. But you have it, you hold it, you treasure it.
     This isn't teaching. This is acting. There's not much more else to it, coming from me. Give them your best show.

A Quick To Do List

...because this is another place to remind myself to do these things.

[✓] 10/1   Background Design and Outlines
[   ] 10/1   7 Thumbnails on poster. Read Value
[   ] 10/2   Read Fight Club
[   ] 10/17 Kubrick Research
[   ] 10/5   Make Lesson Plan
[   ] 10/1   Long Distance Games

Someone remind me to do these things.

A title. Hold on.

Today I made half a gate. A door. It took some time. I used metal pipes (called EMT (electrical metallic tubing)). It was difficult to line up the holes on both sides of the pipe, because, you know, a pipe is round. You don't have that same reassurance of drilling straight as you would with a flat piece of wood.
     So that took a while. But I made the frame. There it is, to the right. It will be painted black. I will fill in the center with PVC (polyvinyl chloride) pies to make it more gate-like, and add wire and lights and webs and stuff to make it cooler.
     As you can see, it's angled. That's because I wanted the gate to close itself. Very simple. Gravity makes it "fall" to the center.

     This lovely pair was on sale, and now they're in my room. I like them, I have a special place to put them within the maze, so I thought I'd show you that they're here.
     Their eyes dazzle like freaking Christmas Eve. It's really annoying. Blue, red, and green. Those are not representative of Halloween. What the hell were the creators of this thinking?
     Their glowing eyes will remain off. They will have a red spotlight above them, surrounded by wedding photos and family and friends photos. I think. You'll find this setup in the map I drew in the last post.

Picture Updates

Yes, I realize I need to post a healthy supply of pictures to keep some people happy.

Huzzah, me.

Huzzah, a metal shelf.

The story behind these are as follows:
     Bla bla bla, I got some plastic mirrors. Free. There are two things that can be done with them. First, my idea: At the end of a hallway, they approach the set of two mirrors (first pic). The idea is, it makes the hallway look longer, and they might scare themselves by going like, oh wait! That's me!
     It's a fairly simple idea, no? Plus as you can tell, the plastic mirrors are fairly distorted. The second pic is my idea of supporting those heavy things.
     My mom's idea was to use this steel shelving unit my dad brought home one day with the intention of filling with his stuff, but hasn't. So after building my set-up of the two mirrors, I took it apart and attached one to this unit. I added a mini strobe light (the white light). The cord you see is another story.
     The purpose of having the mirror set back in this shelf is to drape a curtain in front, and in front of  or on that, say, "Open to witness the scariest monster alive!" Do you understand the gag?
     Each set-up serves a different purpose, the first meant to give a more subtle eerie feeling, the second as a knee-slapper gag.

In other news...

The first one was a scan. It was crap. This is a photo. Much more realistic.

 My map/plan has been added to. The graveyard has purposely been left untouched because I don't know what will go where, in regards to what we currently have, and what we might get/make.
     Huzzah, pictures.
Goodnight.

Food For Thought: Mystery

Mystery makes the man (and woman).

People are naturally curious creatures, and they like to find out and figure out just how something ticks. Or looks. Or feels, etc. 

Hold them to that. Any amount of mystery is worth holding on to. It's okay to be quiet or shy or different in a lot of ways, but don't give that sort of thing away just to fit in. Sometimes it's real important to stand out. Obviously not in a negative way... 

But it starts with the self, and it starts with one's own pride. It's about having high self esteem and a good sense of self awareness. Know who you are and be comfortable with it; embrace it. Be the person you are because it's the one thing you can be the very best at that no one else has. Smile because you are who you are, and that you represent the persona of your imagination. 

It's all this inside you that you can savor for yourself. Show yourself content. Show that you have what you need, and that you're not looking for something else. 

And there in lies the mystery. What does this person have? Why is this person content? What is the person hiding? I want to know what makes this person different than me. Because this isn't just some random person; no, this person has character like few others. This person stands out by being the person that he/she is, not someone else that's trying to fit in. A person that doesn't need to fit in or need something from someone else. This person looks like there is something to be said; worth saying. But here isn't the time and place. I would to find out how this person ticks to find out to hear what could be said. 

Beyond what lies beneath the clothing, the way the hair is done, the way this person carries his/herself, it's the eyes. The fact that I can't really see them, but really, the way they look when I can. They hide something. There's always something more.

Going to read a book now.

I've been fairly busy.
     My attention should be focused on three things (NOT in order:) School, Halloween, and my girlfriend.
     Most of it should be going towards school. I need good grades and such. I need to impress universities I plan to apply to later. I should even be looking more into that (transferring). I do spend some amount of time doing homework, but usually just the fun work. That would be for my digital art class, in which I'm drawing a character (which can be seen in an earlier post) in Illustrator.
     The next class I give attention to is a 2D design class (we create non-subjective compositions using elements and principles of art). The work I take home mostly involves drawing anything within guidelines in my sketchbook. In another book, there are words I have to read. At the moment, I have to read Less Than Zero for a class called Literature and Film. You can figure that one out. Actually, I should be reading that instead of writing this. But no...
     I also take The History of Western Architecture and American Independent Cinema. There was a take-home test for Arch that I didn't finish because I'm stupid and didn't want to do it and put it off to the last minute; I needed more than the 2½ hours I gave myself. I missed a day of Cine because I wasn't feeling good from lack of sleep. That's a problem because the class is once a week. I have a report on Stanley Kubrick due in a few weeks that I should start.
     So I'm not doing too well with school, but I pretend like I am.
     I would rather be working on Halloween stuff. I would rather be painting skulls, or cutting out tombstones, or building a gate with pipes, or putting up the tent and putting up the walls, or digging holes to plant the tree branches, or goring-up some dolls to put in the maze, or configuring the air blower, or building a frame for the mirrors...
     I want to be having fun.
     But I can't be, because I have schoolwork to deal with and class time to focus in.
     I want to play with my cats or watch Top Gear on Netflix or animate or play with Lego's or draw...
     But most of all, I want to curl up next to my girlfriend and not do anything else.
     I love that girl. She's so sweet and kind and tries to have fun and be understanding.
     But she's 400 miles away going to her own school.
We have the fortune of Skype and Facetime and texting and simple phone calls, but just because it's there, doesn't mean it gets utilized...
     She should be my second priority, after school. Halloween just isn't the same as holding a warm body against your own. But I don't have that. She's not physically here, and it's hard to pretend she is. It really doesn't take a lot of effort to pick up the phone to have a conversation. But that phone call is a distraction to whatever I'm currently doing. Reading, drawing, writing, eating... a phone call isn't natural... it's fake. Yes, she's there on the line, talking, listening, and even when I see her on a screen, it's only a tease.
     A tease. I can't hold her, and that's exactly what I want to do. Any problem either of us has can be forgotten in each others' arms.
     And that's what we have lots of. Problems. Her, more than me. It may not seem like I miss her compared to how much and how obvious she makes it that she misses me, but that's because I distract myself with school and Halloween stuff. I want her to be here to help with the projects at hand or the reading that I don't understand.
     The problem with phones and such is the act of communicating. I'm not much of a talker, never really have been. But I am more so with her than practically anyone else. I don't have a problem telling her things, I have a problem with coming up with things to say. Obviously by this text, I have things to say, but this format of a one-sided conversation that can be carefully thought out and edited with no interruptions is what I am good at, compared to verbal communication.
     I'm not a hermit living under a rock; I do do things. But I don't see very much of what I do that's worth telling. I want what I say to have some meaning and value, to be appreciated. I'm always being judged, mostly by myself, so I want to make a positive impression, even to myself. I find that not saying something says more than saying something pointless. I was kind of a mean kid when I was younger (just a bit less now), but the difference now is due to my mother, who always said that if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Well, maybe I've taken that too far.
     So it's a combination of things, whether or not I can be bothered or if I have anything worth saying. I'm sure there could be other reasons too.
     But the first one should definitely be fixed! I should not be bothered by talking to her!
     Every day? Well, "Good morning, good afternoon, how are you, what are you doing now and today, anything exciting recently since the last time we talked, I miss you, goodnight..."
     I'll argue that this takes away from longer conversations. Would you rather watch a movie in little pieces to make it last over a week, or watch it all in one go?
     She has her own life, and she has her own problems. More than me. Recently it's about giving herself (her time and energy) to others, being for school, volunteering at the hospital twice(?) a week, babysitting, listening to her retarded sister, etc. I understand why she's tired. I understand that she does a lot of work with little instantaneous benefit.
     So she wants to talk to me to feel better and to feel loved.
     But I don't give her that. I'm too busy with my own shit.

Alandria

Look! I drew her! I like her. Her body isn't perfectly or even proportionally shaped, but trust me, it was worse. Even broader shoulders than she has now, and a wider bust. Hopefully it's less noticeable now, so enjoy the piece for what it is.
     I renamed her Alandria after the song by the Foo Fighters (minus one letter) because I find it to be a beautiful name. It used to be Violet, but I she doesn't look like a Violet.
     I know the stool she's sitting on looks goofy, but this is just a really detailed sketch. So w/e.
     I mostly used a B and 4B pencil.

Hectic Household

So it seems I won't be posting too often. On the upside, my posts will be more content-filled.
     Let's start: for one of my art classes, I had to make a blog to post... art stuff (no way). We have to design a character and eventually make it in Illustrator (the art class is an intro to Illustrator & Photoshop. I already know PS, but I want to learn the other). So, here's the blog.
     To the left is a sketch of the character I want to create. Her name is Violet, and she has an extensive description in the other blog. I'm proud of the sketch, and do plan to follow through with a fine lovely lady to dream about forever and ever (kidding). But, yeah, I'll finish the drawing.

     Now for the good stuff.

I think it's worth pointing you to my creation last year. (click it!)

Because last year, I did the most I ever did in terms of size and commitment and dedication. I literally spent a month designing that maze in front of my yard. So check that out, then come back to see how I intend to improve.

Dolls. With black eyes and blood :)

Bringin' out the ol' coffin.

Two ghosts, made to be swung in a circle.

I photoshopped and cut out Norman Bates :3

My girlfriend sewed these. Amazing!

This used to be a wedding arch, now painted black.

Here I'm testing a self-closing gate.

This is my inspiration that I'm not going to pay $180 for.

     I absolutely hate the photo organization tools of blogger.
These are some of the things I started making for this year. There's lots of stuff still in the attic, and a few things around my room that wouldn't really make sense to post. 
     I will, however, share with you the things I intend to get done:

• Fog machine ice container
• Auto-coffin
• Cut out tombstones
• Doghouse cave, scary eyes
• Gateway arch
• Band members & music
• Black eye dolls & voices
• Tombstone girl crying
• Projected pet ghosts
• Dropping spider
• Fence
• Tree branches & holes
• Hanging ghosts on string
• Spinning illusion wheel near clowns
• Air canon, pumpkin spices
• Columns 

So that might not make complete sense to you, but I'd be glad to explain if you ask (surely you can find a way to do that). The bottom line:

I've got a lot planned for my little yard.

My Life According to You, Starting Now

I haven't used a blog before, but as I understand it, to purpose is to voice your own opinions and update others about your own doings. Perhaps it could also be interpreted as an online diary/journal. I'm not about to research the subject, I'm just going to do what I want because I can and I don't see a reason to think otherwise. Do correct me if I'm wrong.

For now, I will treat is as a journal, keeping a tab on the things I've done within a given period of time.
Today, I cleaned the yard out front and washed my parents cars. My dad said I couldn't drive his unless I did...
So I did. I like his car. It's an '87 BMW 525i (I think). I like it because it has a satisfying roar, and because I like driving a stick. But being a fairly old car, it has its problems, so he doesn't like my driving it, fearing I may break it or it breaks itself (or me, for that matter). Also, the fact that I want to drive his car for the sake of driving rather than driving to a destination discourages his decision to give me the keys.
What? I like driving. Driving brings such a good feeling to me. Either you understand it or you don't. I like to drive.

Aside from that and dinner, I have been working on Halloween ideas. You will hear much more about this for  the next few months.
To the left is a crude sketch of my front yard. There are blue lines, green lines, a green box, red lines, and a yellow square. All these form to make a maze for trick-o-treaters to walk through. Obviously, the few objects drawn here don't translate to much scaring, but do realize this is still September. I started on this sketch a week before, and this has been the best it could be so far. I have a month and a half to continue adding to this plan and ultimately assembling all the pieces to form the best haunted house my neighborhood has had. Believe me, the final product will look much better than this here sketch.

How do I know this? What potential does it have? Glad you asked. Here's last year's maze: It's small, but all hand-built!

My collection of haunting objects has grown, therefore my physical maze must be larger as well. If you haven't already figured it out, this is by far my favorite holiday, so making all this really means a lot to me. I am a hands-on person, I like making things. I come from a childhood of many Lego's, so that shouldn't be a surprise.
I see this blog (currently) as a means of logging my progress. I have many more things to show you, so stay with me on this. From hand-crafted spiders and ghosts to ghouls popping out of coffins, there is a lot of creativity going into my front yard. I hope you live near me because I would really love to show my creation to as many people as I can.
But to be honest, I am making this all because it makes me happy. Building this makes me happy. The satisfaction of showing this to others is a separate entity. Two different pleasures. I just want to make that clear.

Stick around for more pictures to come!
~Kevan

A Post of Welcoming

Salutations!
Shall I choose to post at least once a week, I think you will find my mind an interesting place to explore. Here is my hello to the blogging realm, I hope I fit in and find a nice place to settle here.

i bid you adieu;
~Kevan