Sunday, August 25, 2013

Thoughts on Suicide

I think about suicide, but I don't think about committing it. I don't think about others committing it, either. I think about why I won't. 

I do feel I won't be missed by many people, and not for long. My mom and dad, they'll miss me. Judging by the amount of texts I get each day, my friends won't miss me. 
     So if it's not people that affect my decision to live, what is? It's not what I have accomplished thus far. It's not because I haven't gotten certain things in life yet. 
     It is because I have potential. I have aspirations to help and influence others. I want to make myself valuable so when I do die, I will be missed. If I die now, there's not much to be said. When I've made a difference, when I have worth, then my memory will live on without me. 

Is this to say I'm not ready to die? In fact, I am. I accept that I, at any moment, can and might die. Though unlikely most of the time, I recognize life is a gift and a privilege. No matter who you are, I personally believe not a single person deserves to live. People make the decision to live. 
     In that respect, I choose to live, because I have no reason to kill myself, but I also understand my life, just like anyone else, is fragile. I accept that I will die, but in no means do I want to. Not yet.

I want to continue to live because there is a fantastic world out beyond my reach and people's lives I may have the opportunity to touch. It is my choice, only limited by my abilities, to find and pursue those opportunities.

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