Why haven't I? Several reasons, my dear. The first and foremost is my unwillingness to commit to a lifestyle choice. Aka career. You see, there are things I like to do, such as:
- Write. I haven't really done stories, but I am good with voice.
- Draw. Graphite does (somehow) spread nicely under my control.
- Compose. Graphic art/illustration.
- Photography. A moment of life, frozen.
- Film/edit. If I had the cast, I'll be the crew. I do like to tell visual stories.
- Journalism. There is an art in forming opinions.
- Animate. Motion graphics and visual effects impress me.
- Play with Lego's. I like the creative freedom of plastic rectangles.
- Carpentry. Whether it's film equipment or a tree house, I like working with and designing with wood.
- Halloween itself isn't a hobby, but I do like combining all^ that into a walk-through attraction in my front yard.
- Working on cars. I love discovering how mine works, and how to improve it.
- Driving. Being one with the car on the right roads is bliss.
- Teaching. Passing on information through education is satisfying.
- Programming. It just blows my mind. Maths!
And although I'm not bragging I am good at all those things, I find the purpose of college is to become good/great at one or two of those things. That's my dilemma: choosing which "hobby" to pursue into a career.
I will, however, and despite what I just said, brag that I am decently good at most of those things. If you know me well enough and have seen my/me work, you would conclude I would master it if I received further, higher education, because I would have the motivation to do so.
Okay, so that's the first reason I didn't apply to college last year, or before, or during high school when all the smart kids did. My second reason is, I am incredibly fucking lazy. I didn't, and mind you, don't want to fill out (and pay for) college applications, some of which require samples of work. I could apply to schools, I should, but then comes the next reasons:
I don't want to take out loans like most kids have already. I don't want to set myself back before I've gotten started. I also don't want to apply for scholarships, for the same reason I didn't apply to schools.
But many people will agree that community college is a sensible route: save cash on the stupid easy general classes, and then transfer and complete your education, with a stronger focus on your intended major. Saving money. Yes, good plan. No argument there. That's one of my valid reasons for not applying to universities.
Also, though, and this is more important to me: Not only am I not ready for them, they aren't ready for me. They, being the administrators. They want to believe that every student they accept onto their prestigious campus will succeed in their goals, both short and long, life term goals. And most will. I won't? Well, I'm there (or would be there) to find as many short cuts as possible. I would try to succeed in cutting corners within the highly-demanding environment. And then I would fail in the long term goals for not doing the work as intended. But the reason they aren't ready for me is because I intend to out-perform and over-achieve all of their requirements, but in only few of the ways the curriculum was written. I don't want to go to a university to get good grades, I want to go because I want to learn, and gain skills and improve my life based on the education I receive. That is my goal. Therefore, it is very possible for me to achieve my goal of learning, but also fail/average out in the eyes of the grade book.
If I want to become a sociologist to study the behavior of people to benefit market research firms in order to more effectively organize and distribute advertising, and an exam asks me how the increasing global population will effectively increase consumers, I could very likely miss the point the professor was trying to make and fail the test, but I would still come out with an understanding of how the mass market is consistently growing and how to analyze the wealth distribution between the social groups. I learned it in class, but a simple misinterpretation could have negative implications towards the study. After "failing" the test, I would go back to understand the mistakes. Oh, that's what I missed. Professor, could we discuss this further? My grade won't change, because that's not how the system works, but I would come out a better educated man. I'm not there to study and perspire facts late at night before the exam; I'm not there to impress the administration with a superb GPA; I'm not there because a girl I like took the same class (but that would be kinda nice); I am there because I am paying to have my life improved. My life would be improved if I got good grades. But good grades aren't the motivation: the effect of doing quality work is good grades. When you understand the difference, and start to live by it as I do, you'll find your life, no really, your life, to be of greater value.
Is this supposed to be about why I haven't applied to schools or why I can't pick a major? Shit, I don't remember. One is because of the other, and either way, they're basically the same thing at this point. Now let's think of this conclusively: if I want to go to a university, I need to pick a major. As I've been told, I could pick two, or I could go major/minor, etc. That's basically a guarantee, because there's absolutely no way I'll be able to choose just one craft. Luckily, some consist of others.
But I've suddenly decided this post isn't going to become a weighing of which I like more or which offers more/better career paths or ease or difficultly or cost or schools or amount of schooling or so on. Those are a good place to start, however, for my next post (or next next, whatever, whenever). I have expressed what I wanted to say, and in all efforts to procrastinate and prolong this very important life decision, I will stop here.
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